Have you ever thought you are too negative?
Do you like to be around people who complain all the time and who are negative?, No, of course you don’t, it’s draining isn’t it? But sometimes people continuously whine and whinge without thinking and they don’t even realise they are being negative.
Sure, we all need to let off steam and get stuff off our chest, life’s not perfect and can be crappy at times. But constant whinging and negativity isn’t good for those around you and neither is it good for you.
A great piece of advice from Action for Happiness for happier living, says: “See life as it is, but focus on the good bits”.
So what’s the flip side question then? Are you too positive?
Can you really be too positive, because positive is good, isn’t it? Not always. I read an article recently saying people who are ultra-positive all of the time are actually delusional! Fair point. It’s good to be rose-tinted, but you shouldn’t kid yourself everything is perfect when actually it’s not.
People who are super-positive are often perceived as being false. I think that if you’re 100% positive 100% of the time, actually you are not being honest. Always turning negative thoughts into positive ones and avoiding saying or thinking negative thoughts isn’t good; it’s not a true reflection of the realities of life, is it?
It seems that being too positive has its hazards too.
But how do we get it right?
We don’t want to be too negative, nor do we want to be too positive.
Maybe this theory can help: it takes four positive statements to balance a negative statement. So what about that as a guide, as a rule? Four positive, one negative. Think how powerful that is. Are you actually being negative all the time, perhaps with your children – and not countering it with four-fold of positives? Ouch.
Think about this theory when you are at work. If you are being over-negative, how might you be being perceived by others? Are you the dreaded office whinger? Mercy! The same applies with the relationships with your friends as well.
Of course, a lot depends on how you were brought up, circumstance, disposition, etc. However, you know what?, being positive is actually a choice. It’s about your attitude.
Here’s an honest and powerful quote from a guy called Dan Rockwell who believes in this 4:1 ratio: “I decided to take charge of my attitude. By nature I’m negative, by choice I’m positive”.
What’s actually my point? Too positive, too negative, four to one? It’s actually all about two things: awareness and choice. Be aware of how negative or positive you are. Try and balance the negative with positive, four to one. Why not measure yourself? If you find that you are too negative or too positive, correct it because getting the right balance of negativity to positivity is actually your choice.
I’ll leave you with a quote from an American philosopher and psychologist called William James:
“Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.”